Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
