I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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