ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize