At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
