Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
