To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
