one might say we're banned from that church
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize