i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
