we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
