Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
