I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
