There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You can't motorboat a personality
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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