Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
