some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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