Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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