im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
