U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
