I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
