A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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