Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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