Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
