My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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