If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
