We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
tell me about the fingering
Randomize