how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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