I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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