That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
