don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
