He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
