remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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