talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize