if you like me you must not know who I am
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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