My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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