then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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