This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
