I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
