The maid of honor just puked.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
