thus making me awesome and them whores
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize