I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
