soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
