haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
