Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize