Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
