But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
