Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
