do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
