***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
