My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I currently don't understand fingers.
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