do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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