she smelled like a LAN party
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize