mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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