I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
