It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he thought i was a dude.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
