It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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