She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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