Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
A bitchslap is in order.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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