If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
