My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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