She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How naked do you want me to be?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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