Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
