we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
