Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
