i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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