Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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