in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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