So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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