Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize