How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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