i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you never un-have a 4some
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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