I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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