I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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