The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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