People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
