Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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