Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
