I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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