areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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