I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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