tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
